Resolve

 

We are one week into the New Year - often about the time my new resolve starts to fall apart.  This year My brother, Grabe (Gabe) and sister, Mocha (Monica) were visiting, and the five of us were children again -  loud and teasing and harassing one another.  We were complete.

We cooked together and played Uno and Take Two and talked and laughed about things that only makes sense to five kids who grew up in the same house.  There was no time for grown-up stuff like reflecting on the past year and making goals for 2014.  And it's a good thing too, because 2014 hasn't started off well in the would-be goal department.  My mom and sisters and I made a WHOLE BUNCH of cookies. Honey cookies to be exact. ... and we ate them.  ALL.  We did, however go for a run together BEFORE we baked, so it's totally OK, right?

I also caught something yucky from an unnamed individual, so any goal of getting back to working out consistently hasn't started off well either.  Looks like I will be carrying the a fore mentioned cookies with me a bit longer.  Not only that, but since I have been feeling ick, my house also looks ick.  The Christmas tree is still up and shedding.  I fear that if I so much as breathe at it, all the needles will fall into a pokey pile and nothing will be left but branches.

There are of course things that I am hoping to accomplish this year.  I do want to be more intentional about the important things.  I am not one who scoffs at making New Year's resolutions.  I am a list maker, after all, and I do like to make goals.  I just want to have goals ... with grace.  I am mostly very hard on myself when I don't feel I'm measuring up.  My recent mantra has been to do what I can, when I can, with what I have.  I also am trying to learn to hold my plans loosely, but by all means, have a plan or nothing will get done!

My usual goals for the New Year probably look a lot like yours.  Manage my time better, find a good routine for keeping the house clean, lose weight, etc. They are pretty much the same every year.  I've noticed something, though.  I have spent a lot of time beating myself up for not sticking with my resolutions, when it didn't always have so much to do with my resolve as it did with the season of life I was in.  When the kids were small I felt like I was falling short when it came to housekeeping and exercise.  Of course I was!  Sleepless nights and littles will do that to you!  Seems to me I've had my self expectations in the wrong place.  Since the kids are older I feel that I have a decent routine that keeps the house clean most of the time.  Scotty helps out a lot.  I am blessed in that way.  But we've been married for over 20 years.  It's taken us a long time to find something that works.  Sort of.  Most of the time. 

We are all learning as we go along.  When I was a little girl I thought one day when I was older, like 20 I would just know everything and be a proper adult. Ha!  I'm never gonna have it all together.  I will have times when I am doing well in the exercising department and then I'll get sick or get busy and I'll have to start over again.  Grace.  I will have times when I will follow my housekeeping routine and plan menus and make dinner most nights.  And then I'll have PMS or get reeled in by a TV series and I'll fall behind on it all.  Grace.  There will be great times with family and we will make memories and make it a point to spend time together.  And then schedules will change and we will put other things first.  Grace.  There is always Grace.  Let's not make it "all or nothing".  So this is what I'm preaching to myself: continue to pick yourself back up, renew your resolve on January 8th or June 1, or whatever day it may be.  Do what you can, when you can, with what you have.  Keep falling forward and continue to fight for what is important to you.