Notes for 40: Be Alert ... But Don't Be Afraid

I'm sharing a few lessons that I'd like to carry on into my 40's .  You know how you hear something that resonates and you think, "That's good.  I want to be/do/live that".  Same.  Perhaps in writing them here, I will remember and reference them later on down the road.  Maybe something will resonate with you too.

Lesson #2
  

"Be alert and always keep on praying" (Ephesians 6:18)

I mentioned fear in my last post.  At some point we all kind of discover that life doesn't exactly turn out the way we had hoped or planned.  We live in a scary world that seems to be becoming more dangerous by the week.  From Orlando to Minnesota to Dallas to Nice and so on ... what kind of future are we facing?  On a personal level, I began to find it hard to look forward to the future because I was always waiting for the "other shoe to drop".  Then I found this verse:

This has become my prayer: Lord, let me be a woman who can find laughter and be joyful without fear of the future.  Scared people don't laugh. Let me be fearless, EVEN IF.  Even if the world we live in is unpredictable.  Even if I could be one phone call away from crisis.  Even if I am imperfect and broken.  Because EVEN IF ... God is still good.  I can find joy.  I MUST find joy. 

If I could trust a God who is always faithful; A God who is writing my story and has only my best interest at heart; a God who loves me extravagantly... If I can believe that God is always good, I CAN FACE TOMORROW WITH NO FEAR.  I'll be honest.  I'm still working on it; fear tries to creep in.  I don't believe that we should dig our heads in the sand and refuse to acknowledge that sometimes things really stink.  Sometimes life is unfair and bad things happen.  I don't want to just say positive things and hope that they will be true.  I want to live real. I want to be alert and always in prayer about everything.  I MUST be alert and always in prayer.  And what else am I to do, but cling to Jeremiah 29:11?

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

There is always something to be joyful about.  We can always find a reason to laugh.

Notes for 40: About Circumstances



Well, it's happened.  I'm 40 now.  In all honesty, I'm not disappointed.  My 30's were full of all sorts of 'hard', and I don't want to go back there!  I have always felt that although 40 is not young, it's not old either, and I've hoped that I would have gained some wisdom by now.  HA!  While that is questionable, I have picked up on a few truths that I hope to bring into the next decade.  Instead of listing everything in one long, drawn-out post, I've decided to make it kind of a series.  I am hoping that this will get me writing more often.  Oh, how I've missed it - and you!  I noticed that today marks exactly 5 months since I last wrote here.  No good!

So here goes.  Lesson #1:

"Your circumstances don't make you, they simply reveal who you already are."

This was a hard one to hear.  I was reading the book, "Lies Women Believe" (Nancy Leigh DeMoss) with a friend, when we came across the quote above.  Can I just say one thing?  OUCH!  Nancy didn't hold back in this book, but I'm thankful for that because we all need someone who is willing to tell us the hard truth!  I can't blame anybody or any circumstance for how I behave or respond to adverse situations. 

For example, I might say, "I wouldn't have thrown that plate across the room if he hadn't made me so angry." This puts the blame on "him".  "He" made me do it.  Yet the truth is that I threw the plate (hypothetical, okay!) because I have an anger problem and I allowed it to get the best of me. 

Or, "I ate so much because I was stressed" (not hypothetical).  But really I ate so much (cake, cookies, ice cream, chocolate) because I am addicted to sugar and it makes me feel better for like 10 minutes until I start feeling guilty and then I feel even worse (too honest?).

Or, I might say, "I was never impatient before I had kids".  Actually, I was.  Having kids just gave that trait an opportunity to arise. 

On the other side of the coin, some situations have taught me that I am stronger than I knew.  While I never want to go 'back there', I am grateful for the hard things that have made me stronger.  Some lessons are only learned by experience.  And with experience comes maturity (hopefully!).

"...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." -Romans 5:3-5

 and

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:2-5

I also discovered that I had some 'ugly' lurking beneath the surface.  Things like discontent, self-pity, un-forgiveness and one that took me by surprise - fear, especially when it comes to my children.  I never considered myself any of those things before.  But I love what Maya Angelou says:

"When you know better, you do better." 

I don't know what kind of challenges are around the corner, but dear Jesus, please let me wear my circumstances well!  So here's to 40 and to living a "better broken"!

Before the Year Closes ...

 

WAIT!  I'm not finished with Christmas yet!! We have only hours left until the new year and I'm grasping the last few moments to share our Christmas with you! 

 

This little Joy Guru made the season especially bright!



Such silliness!

 

Hard core!

Doing a Jesse Tree has become one of my favorite traditions.  I use Ann Voskamp's Advent devotional,  The Greatest Gift to number the days and to stay mindful of the love story woven for us since the beginning of time.  Such a wonderful reminder of why I love Christmas!

 

Decorating for any season is a love of mine.  We kept things much simpler and baby friendly for our curious crawler!

 

 

 

We kept soft ornaments near the bottom of the tree ...

 

... and replaced the Willow Tree Nativity that normally sits on the bottom shelf with this Little People Nativity. 

 

 

 

It was magical watching my daughter introduce Jax to his first Christmas and I was so blessed to get to be a part of it! 

 

We bundled up for the Christmas parade ...

 

Grandpa's Star Wars float

 

... watched his mommy's first Pax de Duex ...  



  

... and turned 9 months old!

 

 

Christmas morning was as exciting as you can imagine!  Celebrating Jesus' birthday with family - what else could one ask for?  

 



 

Here, in the final hours of 2015, may we smile at this years victories and reflect on how we have grown from the hard things.  Let us look forward with hope and joy for the coming year and may it be so, so blessed!

 

 

Love, Liv





Still there?

Hello?  Is anyone still there?

I'm dusting off my keyboard and clearing a place for you to sit down and visit.  Go ahead and fix yourself a cuppa something yummy and then come put your feet up for a bit.  We've got some catching up to do!

So how are you?  I really want to know.  It's been a while since we've talked and I've missed you bunches.

I am doing well and I can't tell you how happy I am that it is today - the first day of October. 

I'm loving the tastes and smells of Fall, and especially the feeling that something good and new is around the corner. 

Growing is painful and scary. But it is good.  So good.  The past year has been all sorts of stretching and struggling to break out of my old skin and grow into this new one.  In all of the uncomfortable I felt that I should stay quiet - I didn't feel that I quite had my wits about me.  And then suddenly, the dark clouds parted and the first light of sunrise broke through.
  
The sunrise is most beautiful after the storm. 

"After a night of howling wind, pounding thunder, and pulling covers over your head, the morning wakes to stillness.  The earth is mushy; branches and washed up debris litter the ground.  But look up.  Always. Look. Up.  The sky is beautifully painted a mixture of oranges and pinks, promising the arrival of the sun.  Calm. The dark clouds are gone.  You close your eyes.  Birds are singing.  A gentle breeze kisses your face.  Inhale.  The ground smells fresh, ready for new growth.  It smells like hope.  You smile because you are still standing.  There is some rebuilding to do; things may never look the same - they are not supposed to.  It's a new beginning"



Nothing says 'new beginnings' like a baby.  This little guy is the delight of our home!  With new beginnings come miracles and I'm so grateful for the miracles that came along with this little boy.  More stories for another time! 

Our house is a whirlwind of diapers and paci's and laughter and drool.  So much silliness happening just to get a smile.  It's wonderfully ridiculous!  It is precious to see the love affair between my girl and her son.  He adores her.  The way he looks longingly after her when she leaves the room ... Or how he tenderly touches her face.  I die!! God's grace has been abundant during this huge change in our family.

Life doesn't stop, even for the birth of a first grandson.  My daughter entered her senior year and jumped, or shall I say pirouetted, her way back into ballet.  She may be a mommy herself, but she is still my girl and watching her dance fills up my momma heart.  You know the feeling - whether it's football or tennis or karate, or clogging or yodeling - it's a pleasure watching our kids do something they love.

Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays have come as scheduled in the midst of all the change - imagine that!  Friendships have been strengthened and new ones have been forged.  We celebrated the one year anniversary of my mom's kidney transplant.  A nephew graduated from Air Force Basic Training.  We traveled to San Antonio (grueling drive!) to watch the ceremony.  And I left a piece of me there.  Literally.  We had to extend our trip because I had to have emergency gall bladder surgery.  Oy!  I was well taken care of and am recovering well.  Some people will do anything to get a few more days of vacation!  Obviously I'm not beneath donating an organ!

Through the challenges and changes in life, I am reminded of how very much I need Jesus.  Every. Single. Day.   I am learning what it means to rejoice always,  pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

God is still good.  I am still standing.  And it is well with my soul.

How has God been faithful in this season of your life?  I'd love it if you'd share in the comments, or just let me know that you're still here!

Let's talk again soon, yes?  We'll meet here - I'll save a seat for you!

Love, 

Liv

70 things I want to teach my daughter about motherhood

1) That feeling you had the first time you saw him?  That's exactly how I felt about you.  Still do. Always will.

2) Nobody prays the way a momma does.  Bring him to Jesus every day.

3) Let him see you talk to Jesus.  Let him hear you talking about Jesus.  Let him see you walk with Jesus.

4) Your faith is the best heritage you can give him.

5) YOU are exactly the mom he needs.  Just as you are. 

6) You don't have to prove anything to anybody.  You are capable.

7) It's okay to not know everything.  Don't be afraid to ask. 

8) Cleanliness is not next to godliness.  Sometimes you have to leave the mess. 

9) Little boys get dirty.  Their play is their work and they work hard.

10) You don't have to do all the things.  Do what you can, when you can, with what you have.

11) Do one thing for yourself everyday, no matter how small

12) Keep dancing.  Your passions are important.

13) Make time for your friendships.  Sometimes this is hard work.  So worth it. 

14) Drink lots of water and eat well. 

15) Make time to take care of your health.

16)  Learn something new.  It's exhilarating.

17) Read to him every day.

18) Read one more story.  Let him splash in the tub.  Give him one more kiss goodnight.  These years go by much too quickly.

19) When you are frustrated, remember that love is kind.  Kindness wins.

20) Stand your ground.  Children are stubborn sometimes, but you are the boss always.

21) Teach him how to work. 

22) Teach him about money. 

23) Teach him how to give. 

24) He wants to know that you are proud of him.

25) Talk to him even when he won't talk to you.

26) Hug and kiss him even if he gets embarrassed. 

27) Trust your gut. 

28) Time spent together is better than a new toy.

29) Family is a gift.  Teach him that it is important to love and support one another.

30) Take him outside every day.  Let him run, jump, climb and yell.  He'll sleep good at night.

31) He's gonna skin his knees.  It's ok.  Little boys are tuff and your kisses are magical.

32) Mommy's are super heroes.  What you do is important.  Every. Little. Thing. 

33) It is more important for you to be fully present than to fight for perfection.  Present over perfect.

34) Always plan ahead, but hold your plans loosely - things often don't go as planned with children.

35) Go slow.  Never rush.  Hurry steals joy. 

36) Don't try to do everything.  Better to do a few things and do them well then to do everything, but poorly. 

37) You will feel like your not getting through to him.  Keep reminding him.  Those reminders will become habits when he is older. 

38) It's just a season.  No matter what stage he is in - this too shall pass.

39) Motherhood is the hardest job you'll ever have. 

40) It is also the best and most fulfilling thing you'll ever do.

41) You won't always do it perfectly, but there is more than enough grace.  God makes up for our lack.

42) Say you're sorry.

43)  Laugh with him.  A lot.

44) Don't tease him.  Let him know that you will never, ever make fun of him.  He is safe with you.

45) Teach him that home is a safe place where he is always loved, accepted and where he can be himself.

46) The mom uniform (sweats and a pony tail) is comfy, but sometimes you gotta do something to make yourself feel pretty. 

47) Emergency chocolate stash and a closet. Enough said. 

48) Coffee.

49) Go to bed on time.

50) Make rest a habit.

51) Wake up a few minutes early.  That quiet time before he wakes up makes ALL the difference.

52) Don't neglect your time with the Lord.  You need His direction daily.

53) Obey the Holy Spirit.  He will let you know what you need to know.  This is your secret weapon!

54) Keep singing.  Always let him hear you sing.

55) Introduce him to good music.

56) Never let him see you disagree with his dad.  If you must disagree, do it in private.

57) Never talk to him badly about his dad.  He should never feel like he has to choose sides.

58) Beware of mommy guilt.  Comparison and self-expectations are your enemies.

59) He is a gift.  Always loved and wanted.  He was never a mistake.

60) Teach him to look people in the eye, and to speak when spoken to.

61) Teach him that life isn't always fair, but that God is always good and there is always something to be thankful for.

62) Teach him to stand up for the underdog.

63) Teach him to respect you - you are the first woman in his life.  You are his greatest teacher.

64) God has good things for both of you.

65) I love you so much.

66) I am proud of you.

67) You are a great momma.

68) You can do hard things.

69) He is going to be ok.

70) You are going to be ok.


This list falls short, I know, and I'm still trying to learn much of this myself. I didn't expect to share these thoughts with my daughter for many more years.  It wasn't too long ago that I wrote this post for her: 82 Things I Want To Tell My Daughter Before Tomorrow.  I must say that I am proud of her for making the brave choice to carry Jaxson and to raise him.  Mommy and baby are doing wonderfully and we couldn't be more in love!  Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers.  I love how God has loved us through you.

 

Five-Minute Friday: Open



Acceptance.  We long for it.  To be included.

Acceptance into college; Accepting a proposal.
An award; recognition.
Accepting an invitation.
To a party; to dance
And what greater joy is there than to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?

Acceptance can also be very difficult.

Accepting that I will be a grandmother before I am 40 years old.
Accepting that my daughter will have to grow up too soon.
Accepting that my husband and I don't share the same faith.
Accepting a broken relationship; that some people may never change.
A diagnosis.
Shoot, let's just cover it all:
Accepting that life did not turn out as expected.

One thing I have learned: Acceptance does not give something your stamp of approval.  Acceptance is simply acknowledging that fact that "it is what it is".  Sounds a lot like surrender.  Surrender is not all bad,  you know.  Surrender can be sweet.  It's opening my hands and giving up my despair. It's trusting the God I know is always good.  Why is it I can accept - even expect the good from His hand, yet be so angry and doubtful when things are not so good? 

Now what?  Now that we've opened our hands in surrender what do we do next?  I know what I won't do.  I won't despair.  I won't pine.  I won't be consumed.  Accepting a situation allows me to move forward.  May God give us the wisdom to do the next right thing.  I can be joyful that God is bringing a precious little boy into our lives.  I can watch my daughter's growing belly and acknowledge that something beautiful is happening.  I can love my husband and see what a gift he is to me.  I can be thankful for the difficult things that have made me real. This. Is. Freedom.

Will there still be moments of sadness and longing?  Of course.  But we don't have to live there anymore.  May we always keep our hands open in surrender to the God who has proven Himself to be trust worthy over and over again. 

- Liv

Mistakes are welcome over here where I have linked up with other writers for five minutes (or so) of writing freely on the given prompt.

And all the people said amen

There is an infant carrier in the back seat of my car.  We've set up a crib and we found these adorable little Converse socks.

Change is coming.  Come March, life as we know it will never be the same.  See, there's this little boy ...

We haven't met him yet, but we have heard his heart beat.  We watch and wait to see or feel the slightest move and smile giddy when it comes.  His name is Jaxson.  He is wanted.  He is loved.  He is my grandson.

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. - Psalm 139:13,14

Last March, on my daughter's 16th birthday, I posted this story for her.  It begins with the meaning of her middle name, Jenae:

'God has been gracious'

It follows her from birth through her growing up years being told exactly that - God is gracious.  The story ends with Celine Jenae as a mother rocking her own baby and telling of God's grace.  How could I have known that almost exactly a year later my girl would indeed be rocking her own child?

We may have been caught off guard, but God was not.  He knew that Jaxson would be a part of Celine's story from the beginning.  God has plans for her little boy.

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. - Psalm 139:16

Although we have had challenges over the past several months, there have also been gifts ...

- Love and support from family and friends
- The kindness of people around us
- The sweetness of our relationship as mother and daughter during this season
- Watching my girl experience God's grace
- The resources for young mothers in our area - they have been wonderful!
- I have to say it again - friends.  Thank You, Jesus for the women You have placed in my life!

There are so many things to write about.  All the feelings.  Sometime.  We are still walking through it and the truth is, this is my daughter's story.  When she is ready.

Meanwhile, would you say a prayer for our family when we come to mind?  Please pray especially for Celine as she navigates motherhood while finishing high school.   

By the way, Celine told me that she looked up the meaning of the name Jaxson.

Scottish:  'God has been gracious'

 Amen.

A drink for weary mommas

Photo: Olivia Brant

This post is for the mommas who are tired.  This is for the momma who feels like she is not getting through; that she has failed. This one is for the momma who is begging for a break through; for just a tiny indication that her prayers are being heard. 

Momma, you have invested too much; spent too many sleepless nights in prayer; shed too many tears to give up now.  You have fought hard.  I know.  I know the loneliness you feel. The exasperation. You are just so tired.

 

Can I gently remind you that you were not meant to carry this?  I know I need the reminder. We were not cut out for this.  That's right.  Stop carrying the weight for being unable to do what only God can do.  Only He can change a heart.  Only He can heal.  Only He can take an impossible situation and make it possible.  Is it possible that you are fighting a battle that is not yours?  Is it time for you to let go and let God handle this?  Watch and see how He is going to work it out. 

I don't know your situation. I do know that nobody will love or pray for your children the way you do. So keep loving them. Keep praying for them. This story isn't over yet.

 

Are you perfect?  No.  Have you made mistakes?  Maybe.  I have.  Big mistakes.  Will you believe me when I say you are not a failure?  I'm not.  Because we are not quitters.  We are not alone.  We are all facing challenges.  I'm right there with you.  And God is with us.

Do you know the story of Hagar in the Bible?

Hagar and her son Ishmael have been cast out into the wilderness and their supply of food and water have run out.  She is in the desert.  Can you imagine?  Like Arizona in the summer during a drought.  She is tired.  The hot sun has drained her of all energy.  She is alone on this journey with her child and she has no idea how she is going to care for him.  Their future is uncertain. 

She is about to give up.  She places her son under a bush and goes about a bow's shot away, sobbing.  She does not want to watch him die. 

But God hears.  He always hears.

"What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation."  - Genesis 21:17

Momma.  Don't be afraid.  God hears you.  He hears your children.

Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink. - Genesis 21:19

That well was there the whole time.  Hagar had only go a bow's shot further to find it.  And to think she almost gave up.

You and I also have a well. 

"If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” ... - John 7:37-38

It's crazy to die of thirst when there is a well within reach.  Maybe your eyes are weak today and you can't see beyond your circumstances.  Ask God to open them.  And then momma, get up, take your children by the hand and lead them to the Water.  Love your child.  Pray for your child.  Point your child to Jesus. 
Don't forget the times God has been faithful in the past.  He has brought you this far. Drink.

That well was not Hagar's first encounter with God.  He had been faithful to her at another well, about 14 years earlier when she had run away from her mistress Sarai, who had mistreated her. 

Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” The angel added, “I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.”  The angel of the Lord also said to her: “You are now pregnant and you will give birth to a son.  You shall name him Ishmael, for the Lord has heard of your misery ..." - Genesis 16:9-11

The encounter meant so much to Hagar that she named the well:

She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered. - Genesis 16:13, 14

You have a God who sees you struggling.  He hears your cries.  Lift your eyes and go to the well.  There is rest for your weary momma heart.

Fresh

So here we are.  2015.  No going back.  How have the first few days been?

 

I love how God gives us new beginnings on a regular basis.  I like how every sunrise means that yesterday is over and a brand new day has arrived with no mistakes in it.  Yet.  Every week is a chance to eat better or start my exercise routine ... again.  Every month brings another milestone; another celebration; another season.  And every new year represents hope and opportunity. White snow with no footprints in it yet.  A blank page.  Fresh soil.

I hope to run more. Read more. Write more.  Learn more.  Laugh more.

 

I want to memorize more scripture.  Clean out closets.  Live more simply.  I hope to make another attempt at growing a little garden. Key word: attempt - as Scotty rolls his eyes.  He tries to convince me every year to buy fake plants.  I don't appreciate his lack of confidence that I'm for real going to water it this time!

 

Our family will have big changes.  Good changes.  We will make wonderful memories.  I plan to enjoy my coffee and watch more sunrises.  I want to spend time out doors and explore places I've never seen in our area.  I want this to be the year that we finally go to Disney Land!

I may or may not accomplish one or more things on my list.  They are all good things, but life may get busy or I may get distracted and spend too many weekends watching Friends (yay for Netflix!), instead of going outside. Even if I don't reach my goal weight or go to Disney Land, even if this year is full of challenges - and no doubt it will have some - one thing I am sure of:

God is in control and every little thing is going to be okay.

When in doubt?  I have to but remember the times He has been faithful in the past.  When I am disappointed in myself, I will need to remind myself that His mercies are new every morning.  And equally as important, I need to live thankful.  

"Morning by morning new mercies I see.  All I have needed thy hand hath provided.  Great is your faithfulness, Lord, unto me." - Thomas Obediah Chisholm

So, dream big for 2015.  Make goals and plans.  Take the first step towards that thing you've always wanted to do.  And if things don't work out exactly as planned - God already wrote a fresh start for tomorrow.  

May 2015 be a sweet adventure!

"Cannon Baaaalll!"

 

Remember when we were eight years old and could spend the whole day in the pool?  The mom's would soak their feet at the edge and talk while we practiced jumping in or diving for those bright colored diving sticks.  I learned to do handstands in between underwater tea parties and games of Marco Polo. Our mom's would have to threaten to get us out of the pool to eat lunch and then torture us by making us wait 30 minutes before getting back in, "or else you'll get a cramp and drown".

Remember that one boy?  He'd taunt us with endless splashing, enjoying the squeals and screams as we covered our faces.  Finally he'd get out of the pool and we'd go back to our giggling and games.  Then you'd hear it.  Running feet.  Mom's calling out to "walk before you slip and fall!".  And then the yell, "cannon baaaalll!", as he plunged into the pool, arms wrapped around his knees, bottom first.  We'd gasp and quickly move away from the tsunami.  The moms would scold as they scurried away from the edge, grabbing towels or hovering over food and babies.  The splash disrupted the entire pool, reaching as far as the picnic table.

2014 was a canon ball.  I was enjoying my time in the pool and the warmth of the sun.  There were celebrations and parties; the Grand Canyon and Utah and Colorado; family and friends and good food.  Calm waters.

 

The tsunami of 2014 disrupted my pool party and left me kicking and flailing, trying to regain my footing.  Gasping and struggling for air, I was in over my head.  The waves seemed to keep coming, shoving me to and fro.  I couldn't find which way was up and I did not know what to do.  Spent.  Weary.  I was clinging only to what seemed to be a worn thread of a promise: "God is always good and you are never alone".

 

And then one morning, the sun came up.

Have you ever seen the sunrise after a storm?  After a night of howling wind, pounding thunder, and pulling covers over your head, the morning wakes to stillness.  The earth is mushy; branches and washed up debris litter the ground.  But look up.  Always. Look. Up.  The sky is beautifully painted a mixture of oranges and pinks, promising the arrival of the sun.  Calm. The dark clouds are gone.  You close your eyes.  Birds are singing.  A gentle breeze kisses your face.  Inhale.  The ground smells fresh, ready for new growth.  It smells like hope.  You smile because you are still standing.  There is some rebuilding to do; things may never look the same - they are not supposed to.  It's a new beginning. 

We can't focus on the hurts and mistakes and failures that are behind us. We can only fall forward until suddenly we discover we are running again.  I couldn't be happier to leave 2014 behind.  The waters have washed away the old and the new is coming.  And it is going to be good.

 "...But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."